21 Week Update - Karate Kids

I am looking around wondering what happened to March and April. The months just flew by and now I find myself looking down at this gigantic twin belly! It really seemed to come out of nowhere, like one day I thought, I look a little more round, to DANG GIRL that is a big baby belly! (Babies Belly!*)

A lot has happened and changed over the course of the last two months. We found out the gender at week 15 at one of our Denver appointments. I spent all of week 16 in Alabama which was a blessing and also a huge challenge. I loved every minute that I got to spend with my family, but being pregnant and uncomfortable and away from Dan was super hard. I am glad I went, but I will never recommend traveling while pregnant! After the long car ride my feet were so swollen I could barely slip on flip flops. Not fun. Weeks 17, 18, and 19 are all a blur but 20 and 21 have been great! Our last two doctors appointments have been extremely positive and we now have two, one pound babies!

The biggest changes recently have been with me personally. For one, my body, but I feel like I am growing in so many ways in such a short amount of time. The process of becoming a mother and learning about my babies has been wonderful. It makes all of the un-wonderful body changes all worth it. I have learned what I am capable of in this short time, and learning to stand up for what I believe in where my body is concerned has really been amazing. I have cried big gross cry face cries at the thought of having a c-section, and been angrier at doctors than I have ever been at anyone, and through it I am finding this amazing movement of women who are challenging the current medical paradigm. I find myself immersed in studies, blogs, birth stories, and photos that show women standing up for what they know their bodies are capable of in the face of an overwhelming amount of unnecessary medical intervention.

Through this process I have also learned a bit about letting go. Although I have come to a place to trust my body and love my growing babies, I also know that mother nature is unpredictable. I will be grateful for any medical interventions that I NEED if an emergency arises. I know so many women who had their heart set on a natural birth or a birth plan and when it came time, changed the plan completely. I have had to let go of any feelings of guilt or shame or control in the process of learning to trust my body, and giving a little shred of trust to the medical professionals who will attend my birth. The biggest piece of guilt I have had to let go of is constantly saying "If I were only having one baby I would do _______" because, hello, I am having two babies! I love that I am having two babies and although I would love to never hear the phrase "high risk" again, I know that I need to do what is best for getting them into this world safely. Continued prayers are appreciated, especially for us to find a doctor that meets our needs both physically and in world view. 

The highlight of the last two weeks has been the kicking. I started feeling the baby flutters around 14 weeks, and have waited and waited for the moment that they would kick hard enough for Dan to feel them. Watching him grow into the dad he will be has been wonderful and I know it is a completely different experience than mine because he isn't as ever-aware of them as I am (at least in the same way). Week 20 it finally happened! I felt a little bit of movement, grabbed his hand and put it on my belly and Baby B kicked his hand! It was one of the best moments of the whole pregnancy. Since that moment these little babies have quickly turned into karate kids! I love every movement, every wiggle, and every kick. It is so life-affirming to have them bouncing around the way they do. The other night we went out to dinner with some friends and while waiting for our table I grabbed Dan's hand again and the biggest kick to date popped right out under him! He told me later that he had fun at dinner but that kick was the highlight of his night. (Mine too!)

Things are finally starting to feel "normal." I want to blog more frequently, because this journey has been so incredible that I want to remember every moment and also share it with all of you! But, until next time...

-Megan

PS: We are having BOYS. BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS :D We are having boys.